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The Endless Talker

    People who talk too much.  We all know them.  They go on and on until they finally reach their point (if there is one) buried somewhere at the end of their speech beneath a bunch of other stuff we don't care about.  Others interrupt us multiple times as if we're not even speaking to make their points.  Then there are those who are just plain wasteful with words.  They take 50 to say what could be said in ten.  Yakkety, yak, yak.  Blah, blah, blah.  I don't know about you, but I eventually stop listening.  My thoughts immediately go to:  "How in the world can I get away from this windbag?"  They don't seem to notice that my eyes have glazed over or I'm nodding like crazy to get them to hurry up.  My point?  It's about economy of words.  Unless we're chilling on the front porch enjoying the breeze with no particular plans, then I'm too busy to get stalled by somebody's chatter.
    If you're the culprit, take this advice because most people may find it too awkward to let you know:  Get to the point in the quickest way possible.  The longer you're yammering, the more time you're wasting.  Not just your time but the time of others who have to endure your painful monologue.  This is especially expensive on the job when you're standing around chatting, and there is work to be done.  I call this the "drip zone".  This is where companies aren't aware of how much they're losing in productivity because some seemingly harmless act is being perpetuated throughout their organization every day, but it's costing them.  It might not be loss that comes gushing through like water from a hose.  But it's the constant drip, drip, drip that adds up at the end of the day to huge deficits.  For example, wasting time in unproductive meetings that run too long, hallway conversations that happen too frequently, and too many phone interruptions that are unimportant are all most often conducted by the endless talker.
    A monologue is usually what they become.  Even if the information is important, when its delivery is monopolized, then there is no dialog.  If one person is doing all the talking, that hardly constitutes a conversation.  A dialogue is a discussion between TWO people.  What inadvertently happens is that talkers make themselves the center of the conversation.  Their opinions, thoughts, ideas, and interests are all that matter.  They have essentially locked out the other person and taken a very self-centered approach to communicating.  The difficult part in all of this is that talkers are usually nice people.  They're fun to be around.  They likely have a warm spirit and a great sense of humor, and this makes it hard for us to be critical with them when we have to be.  So we simply endure--much to our frustration.  We dread seeing them come, but we don't know how to get out of the way.  We groan inwardly and search frantically in our minds for ways to end the conversation before it starts.  Enough already!  If you're guilty of endless talking, listen up!
  1. Be considerate of other people in your discussions.  Give them a chance to speak without interruption, and try to listen without formulating what you're going to say when it's your turn to speak.  
  2. Be aware that you're long-winded, and that it's annoying to others.  Try to refrain from speaking for too long.  Monitor yourself.
  3. If you're mostly talking, then you're NOT mostly listening.
  4. Get to the point!  If there isn't one, then it's better to remain quiet.
    If this all sounds too harsh and judgmental, sorry.  But trust me, someone has tried to let the talker know, and the subtle approach has not worked.  If someone has directed you to this blog or printed it out and mysteriously left it on your desk, take the hint.  I know what I'm talking about.  Shoot, look at how long this entry is.  I could've said this in fewer words, but I'm a talker.  What can I say?  The answer:  a lot less.  So I will.  In fact, in the next post, I'll provide tips on what to do when you've been cornered by a talker, and how to break away.  And I'll try hard to be brief.  Check back with me next Monday morning.

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